he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
