Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
