Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
