the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
