Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
is wine microwaveable?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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