Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
this boner is exhausting
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
