No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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