The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
