he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
false alarm. still invincible.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
