"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
