it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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