i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize