Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
