Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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