Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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