Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
