lets start a swedish sibling band together
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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