Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize