Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
