I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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