The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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