I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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