Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My first STD was from a foam party
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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