i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I feel great
I just peed on a car
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
the liver wants what the liver wants
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
