i jhust puked up my retainher.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
