Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
