he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
