Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
