she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
