He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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