dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
