after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
