so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
