i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
