Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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