I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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