She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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