if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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