TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize