Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
