but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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