I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
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I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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