oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
