And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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