I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize