This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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