You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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