you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Randomize
