i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
As shirtless as possible
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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