And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
