Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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