Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
