girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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