nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Swine flu is the new snow day.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Mom said you looked used
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
