I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
What a dumb baby whore.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize