Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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