so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
