Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Is it penis luge time yet?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
