he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
