actually, I'm a sock model
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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