are you so shy because you have an std?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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