What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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