Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
