When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
