Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
